Have you ever went to bed with a stuffed nose, and had a semi-irrational fear of not waking up the next day from suffocation on your own snot?

Yeah, that’s the circle of hell that’s been the past few weeks for me. I’m a pathetic person when I’m sick. I find myself laying on the couch in the same pajamas I’ve worn for the past 3 days, covered in blankets and half-used tissues, watching reruns of Chuck (also known as Yvonne Strahovski in Slow Motion Shots with 80’s Music) on Netflix, and wondering why everything tastes like copper and sadness.

Whenever I get feverish, I spend a lot of my time just daydreaming. Keeping the mind distracted from my inability to breathe, the feeling that my brain is being flattened by an Indiana Jones trap, and the never-ending attempt to get myself to finally sneeze. I like to think about the impossible.

And then I thought to myself, what if the world were made of sitcom scenarios, action stories, and tragic endings? Where would my placement be in the grand story of life then? Would an orchestra support my walks to Walgreen’s to get those extra tissues? Would I need to tap into my inner battle mode and unleash a furious hell onto thugs and minions, charging at me from every direction?

Will I marry a damsel in distress, or that badass chick from the block? Will I marry at all?

My life changed for a brief moment, because I envisioned a reality beyond the possible. Beyond the inevitable. I saw myself as a character in the greatest action-comedy-drama-thriller. The supporting cast providing the guiding the light to the credits. Everything was scripted beautifully. The audience would be breathless. Everyone got the recognition they deserved for making the perfect ending.

Maybe I just got done saving the life of the Pope, or maybe I’m heading to dinner with a loving family who possess a dark secret. Maybe something happened that felt tragic to myself at the time, but turned out to be something I could look back on and laugh ’til my heart stopped.

And then the Nyquil wore off. And then I started applying to more jobs.

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