When you’re a writer, it’s important to design a creative process to follow for each project. I have a process when I begin writing each of my blog posts, because it helps center my ideas to a concrete argument. It’s an extensive process, yes, but it allows for full creativity to flourish. I wanted to share with you exactly what I do every almost every time I sit down to talk to you guys.

  • Pull up WordPress site
  • Crack fingers, log on, and open “New Post”
  • Space out at the wall for 3 minutes, thinking about where life has placed me so far
  • Put on Netflix
  • Begin playing American Dad, because, well, screw it, I need some ambience
  • Watch 5 episodes without touching the laptop
  • Pause Netflix, pick up laptop, open new tab for Facebook
  • Peruse Facebook for 25 minutes
  • Close Facebook, realize I began a new post
  • Start writing the post
  • Put back on American Dad, because, well, screw it, I need some ambience
  • Write first paragraph, and re-read it 6 times for editing
  • Delete entire paragraph
  • Go to the kitchen, to make a sandwich
  • Question integrity of turkey lunchmeat, but decide sandwich is worth the risk
  • Eat sandwich while staring at the wall for 3 minutes, thinking about where life has placed me so far, and whether or not the taste of the sandwich is “just slightly off”
  • Put back on American Dad, because, well, I need to distract myself from the fact that I just ate expired meat
  • Go to the bathroom to sit and weep on the toilet for ~15 minutes
  • Come back to the laptop
  • Start writing again, with renewed vigor and purpose
  • Decide now is the perfect time to play “The Touch” by Stan Bush
  • Peruse YouTube for more montage music for 20 minutes
  • Realize post only has 2 paragraphs after hours of being open
  • Mentally and physically slap self across the face
  • Play “The Touch” by Stan Bush again, this time on repeat
  • Write two more paragraphs, inserting at least 3 clever puns
  • Congratulate self on puns with trip to the kitchen
  • Open fridge door to look for a drink
  • Open food cabinet to see if there are unopened drink options
  • Open fridge again to look “just a little harder” for a drink
  • Pour tap water into a glass and use a Mio drink flavoring
  • Pour water into sink and throw away Mio bottle in disgust
  • Make a shopping list
  • Realize shopping list consists entirely of drink options
  • Add “butter” to even out the list
  • Feel self-conscious about cashier ringing up 20 bottles of juice and a tub of Country Crock (what does she/he know about my life?)
  • Return to laptop
  • Re-read what I wrote so far
  • Question integrity of myself as a writer, and as a person
  • Save post as a draft, decide that it “might be good to finish up another time”
  • Put back on American Dad, because, well, screw it, a new post doesn’t have to be put up every day. Right?

What’s your writing process? Feel free to leave a comment with some tips and tricks on how you generate content. Seriously. Any advice on getting my goddamn ideas into understandable sentiments would be graciously welcomed.

 

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