Ringling Brothers meets...I don't know, some really terribly, B-rated thriller movie villain.

Ringling Brothers meets…I don’t know, some really terribly, B-rated thriller movie villain.

Self-Deprecating Information in 3…2…1…

In March of 1990, Stephen Norris was brought into this world kicking and screaming. Mostly screaming. A lot of screaming. He was a colicky child, so his primary mission was to make his parents’ life a never-ending Hell (comprised entirely of Sesame Street on repeat and cut-up hot dog pieces).

Fast forward to the end of elementary school. Stephen was introduced to creative writing by his English teacher, and went on to create a short story about a superhero cat and a lost boy. It was published in the super prestigious Young Author’s Award book of 2003, found in book stores everywhere*.

The following year, Stephen wrote another epic tale of a boy who used the power of dreams to teach himself how to play baseball. It was published in the ultra exquisite Young Author’s Award book of 2004, found only in the leather-bound bookcases of the supremely rich*. Beyond that, Stephen has written some one act plays, poems, op-eds, and other meaningless/ful dribble.

He received his B.A. in English Literature at Eastern University, because he knew that Eastern would be able to solidify his future as the world’s greatest writer/analyzer**. Currently, Stephen is a temp copywriter for a web domain company in Wayne, PA, and looks back at all of his life choices with unwavered confidence***.

*found only in the bookshelves of proud parents, and in the fire pits of not-proud parents
**the only people who have heard of Eastern are missionaries in Africa and people who know it as “that school next to Cabrini”
***he questions everything he’s ever done daily